God Protect Me from Your Followers
As I was driving about town today, between my exhilarating inspections of food service establishments and asking “Have you had your hood cleaned today or is it a haven for a city-state of cockroaches?” in a slightly more tactful manner, I felt a need to amuse myself. No matter what you have seen on TV, being a health inspector can be a mundane job at times. So I started to take note of bumper stickers as I waited for lights to change from red to green.
There seemed to be more God related bumper stickers floating about. A van in front of me, proudly displaying union membership stickers, also sported “Keep using my name in vain and I’ll double the length of your rush hour-God.”
Others I saw stating that Jesus is coming or Will the road you are on get you to me?-God And the writers of these think they are getting into heaven…
These stickers are used to show that the car is being driven by a God-fearing individual who is so righteous they may actually speak for God. I decided to check the net for availablity of bumper stickers, so I too, can speak for God. And lo and behold, like the miracle of the loaves and the fishes, they are fruitful and hath mutiplied exponentially. However, the ones I like are not the ones I’ve been seeing a little too scarily often.
The listing of my favorites are:
If God speaks to you, consider medication!
Annoy a Christian, Think for
Yourself
Jesus Loves you, everyone else thinks you are an asshole
And my number one favorite is:
God protect me from your followers!
A rather scary website is America Bless God. They will provide you with bumper stickers, brochures, and more to inflict on your co-workers, people who were once your friends and teach you how to be totally intolerant of any other religion. And its FREE, all for FREE!
But you have to admit it has good intentions! First Afganistan, then Iraq and right after Syria and Korea…….the world police will provide a democratic afterlife. Who is God anyhow, setting himself up as sole totalitarian ruler like Saddam Hussein! Let America show the way. America will bless God. In a truely democratic afterlife, could people in hell vote? I mean if you let all the rif-raft vote you end up with them electing groups like Hamas. We need to have a real democratic afterlife here! Maybe only those appropriately blessed by America can then vote. One thing for sure, first thing is we’d turn off those hot and cold running virgins…yessirree bubba that would solve us some problems!
But there is one bumper sticker that doesn’t seem to be designed to annoy, exclude, condem or incite to riot. God bless the whole world, No Exceptions.
Where did we (Christian America) or other countries get the idea that their way was the only way and the right way? Well from their holy books. Well that is another enlightening post that is on its way.
Until then, God bless the whole world, no exceptions!